Kimmel on FBI Raid of Trump’s Attorney: ’It’s Never a Great Sign When Your Lawyer Needs a Lawyer’
Jimmy Kimmel did not discuss the Sean Hannity situation after his tweet apology over the weekend, but he did spend the bulk of his monologue Monday night cracking wise about the FBI raid on the office and home of Donald Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen.
“The FBI in New York made its most dramatic and aggressive move on the White House yet. You know, it’s never a great sign when your lawyer needs a lawyer, but that is the spot Donald ‘Jephanie’ Trump finds himself in tonight as a dozen FBI agents raided the office of his personal attorney Michael Cohen,” Kimmel joked at the beginning of his monologue.
“And they didn’t just raid his office. They also raided his house and his hotel room. Which, he has a house and a hotel room? The fact that a guy who pays off porn stars ‘has’ a hotel room is, to me, is a red flag,” Kimmel said, doing finger quotes around “has.”
Kimmel then expressed his complete lack of surprise that this whole deal somehow ends up tying back to Russian president Vladimir Putin rather than just having something to do with Cohen’s hush payment to Stormy Daniels.
“The New York Times is reporting that the raid is focusing on ‘many things,’ not just the payment. Special counsel Robert Mueller is said to be interested in potential Cohen attempts to contact Vladimir Putin’s spokesman about building a Trump Tower in Moscow some time ago. Is there ever going to be a story about Donald Trump that doesn’t involve Vladimir Putin?” Kimmel asked.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if, at the end of all this, Trump breaks down and starts speaking perfect Russian like Kevin Costner at the end of ‘No Way Out’,” Kimmel joked, referencing the 1987 thriller in which Costner plays a US Navy officer who is revealed to be a KGB mole.
Then Kimmel slipped in a pretty savage burn at Donald Trump’s expense.
“The FBI seized emails, tax documents, business records. They barged in unannounced — they barged in like the Donald himself storming into a beauty pageant dressing room.”
Then “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” played the clip from Monday afternoon of Trump addressing the situation, in which Trump said that “we’ll see what happens” when asked if he would fire Mueller.
“So now we wait to see what he does about this. Will he fire Robert Mueller? Will a sitting American president have the audacity to fire the person who is investigating him during the investigation?” Kimmel said. “The man fired Meat Loaf — you can’t rule anything out! And if he does fire Mueller, will Republicans in Congress impeach him? Some of them have gone on record saying that that is a line that cannot be crossed.”
“All I know is, Mike Pence is just sitting there just doing a little jig right under the desk. He’s gonna go home and kiss that rabbit of his over and over again on the head he’s so happy.”