Kanye West’s Christian Phase is Already Wearing Thin
Kanye West has been a Christian for about a week or so, and like anyone with a new hobby he has talked about it until everyone around him is just absolutely sick of hearing about it. Seriously, think about how you would look at me if I spent the rest of this article talking about Magic: The Gathering is in real trouble right now because Oko, Thief of Crowns is just steamrolling over Standard and it really needs to banned on the 18th because no one wants to play another year and half of Magic: The Elkening. That’s how we should all feel every time Kanye West says the word Jesus.
Let’s look at what Kanye has done since his come to Jesus moment. He showed up at Coachella and lead a prayer service, which included him selling $200 Kanye West Approved Church Sweatpants. So he’s already mastered the whole Righteous Gemstones rip everyone off televangelist mega church bullshit thing in his first day, which is record timing.
Then he made his new album all Jesusey and invited Kenny G to collaborate with him because why wouldn’t he, it’s not like an incredibly successful comedian (among NPR listeners, anyway) used Kenny G as shorthand for being terrible at music.
By the way, Jesus is King got delayed more times than the second coming. Seriously, that guy was supposed to be here by now. I’ve got shit to do, if you make plans the least you can do is keep them.
But now that Kanye has been a Christian for all of six months, he’s starting to be a real misogynist asshole about it, which is honestly unsurprising. Converts to religion, especially recent converts, tend to be absolutely insufferable about it compared to people who are raised in a religion, to the extent that religious terrorists tend to be converts.
Just for starters, Kanye, who produced the Pornhub awards last year, basically called his wife a whore for looking sexy, the thing about her that he couldn’t stop talking about when they started dating, because it reflects poorly on him as a Christian.
Kanye wasn’t done, though, as he then went in on everyone’s favorite thing, porn. Kanye, man, leave porn alone, it never did anything to anyone. In fact, Psychology Today says studies show that watching porn makes you less sexist, less homophobic and less religious, all of which are great things to be.
He also reportedly asked the crew working with him Jesus is King not to have premarital sex, something that is none of Kanye West’s fucking business.
Kanye has always been eccentric, by which I mean he’s an asshole. But he used to be a lovable asshole when he was interrupting Taylor Swift or pointing out how George Bush doesn’t care about black people. Taylor Swift and George Bush both kind of suck. But porn and premarital sex? Well, you may as well just attack mom and apple pie. We miss the old Kanye. You’ve gone through these phases of various types of stupidity before, please stop this one before you end up making an album with some Christian Rock band with a ridiculous name like Switchfoot or Jars of Clay or Insane Clown Posse.
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