Who Am I Without You – Episode 7
As I woke up this morning, I began to think about what my life would have been like if I never got involved with my Ex husband. Well that would mean no Dare, and quite frankly I don’t think I would miss either Bolu or my child. “Gosh I need some breathing space!” I said to my bathroom mirror. My lips were looking all cracked up as if I don’t know where lip balm was sold at. “Hmm what a pity.”
A knock came. “Umm Lola, one Mr Obafemi is waiting for you outside.” My sister called out to me. The rush I used in looking for the make up bag I had hidden away baffled me. What was I thinking? I quickly wiped off the little makeup I was trying on my face; no guy is worth me putting on makeup for. I am not a baby anymore!
“I dont know why you will just show up at my place like this without asking me first. I dont sell akara anymore Bolu so you can stop coming.” I said to him as I was walking him to his car. He just smiled and said, “You look beautiful.”
“Hmm thanks, like I was saying there is no need for you to keep coming Bolu. Whatever you are trying to do here, its not working.” I said to him already on my way back inside my house.
“Look” he said behind me. “How about you let me be a friend, I no dey bite Lola.” I turned around to take a good look at this person. He looked nothing like my Bolu but every time I see him, I see another mistake that is waiting for me.
“So how about I come pick you up at 2p.m, and we go shopping for my party that will be happening tonight?” he said.
I have to admit I missed going shopping. All the beautiful clothe’s I brought to my mom’s house, Kate has been going through them one by one, and I have taken a likeness to just a pair of jean trousers and t-shirt.
“So this party or whatever, who is going to be there?” I asked him.
“Well just couple of friends, family, and my workers. no big deal na.” he replied. “Try think about am sha would really love for you to come.”
“I guess I will see you at 2p.m then.” I said to him.
He kept to his words and I kept to mine. At exactly 2p.m he was already waiting for me. He took me to one boutique where Bolu used to take me before, he said his younger sister owned the clothing line. He bought me more than I needed for just one night. When it became time for him to pay, I began to have a panic attack. I said to him “NO DON’T!” in what sounded like a scream. I drew him to a corner to speak to him. This was not looking good at all.
“I thought I could do this but its not working.” I said to him with both my shaking hands squeezing my shoulder’s tight.
“I don’t want your money, I don’t want to be your puppet. Like just take everything back.” I walked over to were the clothes were. I started to throw the things back to were I got them from. He just stood there looking at me probably thinking am going crazy. “What’s that suppose to mean! Would you stop all this misbehaving, people are watching for Christ sake!” he was beginning to show signs of anger.
“Bolu you just don’t get it do you? I am so tired of you doing stuff for me, I am tired of you buying all my akara, I am tired of you flaunting your pretty car at face. I am so sick of you thinking I need you for something when clearly your the one who keeps coming back to me!” I started yelling at him. He looked around thinking maybe I was talking to someone else that was not him. I could feel my eyes getting watery. I thought to myself “Damn girl! Don’t let those tears fall. Don’t lose it girl! Come on, get yourself together.”
“Then you will think that after you have done all this, it will be easier for you to sleep with me? You are sick Bolu.” I kept on yelling at him, and the tears were on displace for him to see now.
“What has come over you.” he kept trying to get a hold of me. “Okay fine if you don’t want the clothes, now lets just go I don’t want any more embarrassment from you.” he said to me, dragging me out of the store. He mention to the sale’s girl not to tell his sister about any of what happened.
I kept fighting him to leave me alone that I will find my way home. He got into his car and left. I stood there in front of the store with customers just starring at me as if I was crazy. I was confused as to what my problem was now. I pulled out a bench that was outside the store and decided to chill out there till I got myself together.
20 minutes later I was still there rethinking the same thing over and over again. I grew fatigue, and weary from the hot sun that was hitting my head. To shield my head from the sun, I rested my head on my laps, and felt hot tears drop on my palms.
I did not know when someone walked over to where I was seating, and offered me a bottle of water. “Lets get you home.” the voice said. I looked up to see who it was, and to my surprise it was Mr. Obafemi.
“Did you come back for round 2?” I managed to ask him with the little strength I had left.
“Just shut up for once, and let me take you home.” he said.
No words were needed to be exchanged on our way back to my house. All he heard from me were some frequent sniffing of my nose.
When we reached our house, he came outside to get the car door for me. As soon as I stepped out, someone came running towards me.
“Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!.” my son rushed to hug me. I was so embarrassed when I saw Bolu’s jaws drop. He stood there looking at us and could not find words to say.
“You……have a……….??” he managed to stutter out of his mouth.
“Its none of your business, just go.”
I left him there thinking the worse. I looked at my son, and laughed thinking to myself, “This boy ooh you just spoil your mama show!”
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