“I’m a promoter of masturbation. Don’t sleep around – learn yourself first. Guys do, but girls don’t. And that’s why girls have so many bad experiences. But you can know your body, know yourself, know what feels good … You don’t have to give yourself away to have sexual relevance. Because I don’t think sex is something people should be afraid of. It’s part of human nature, so I don’t think it should be shameful – particularly for girls and young girls.”

Spencer Pratt Should Not Be Giving Sex Advice But Oh Well

“Go to your nearest sex shop, ASAP, and go on a serious shopping spree and buy every single thing you can afford, and then figure out what to do when you get home with your girlfriend.”

— Spencer Pratt on spicing things up [Nerve]

Jada Pinkett Smith Likes To Play Secretary

“Be sneaky — your girlfriend’s house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom. Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex. Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Pull over on the side of the road … Just switch it up. Anything like that can keep it going. Anything it takes to keep the flame alive.”

— Jada Pinkett Smith tells Redbook how to keep the fires at home burning when you’ve been married for awhile

“Jackass”‘S Chris Pontius & Johnny Knoxville On Drunk Sex

Chris Pontius: Once you’re having drunk sex, remember the same thing you would during not-drunk sex: don’t come inside the girl. Don’t ever come inside a girl. When a girl tells you she’s on the pill that’s cool — if you are married to her, and you don’t really mind if she gets pregnant anyway.

JK: Another thing to keep in mind when having drunk sex: say, “Please stay hard, please stay hard, please stay hard.” That kind of repetitious thing really helps. Because otherwise you’re just kind of shooting pool with a rope. I mean, we’ve all been there.

— The “Jackass” guys give their drunk sex tips to Nerve [Nerve]

Mary Louise Parker Makes A Dig At “The Little Mermaid” I Think

“Any soundtrack involving earnest undersea creatures who sing or play drums as they struggle to find their way home.”

— Mary Louise Parker on music that won’t get you laid [Esquire]

Russell Brand Warns Against “Nut Brush”

“I would urge people, men especially, unless they’re bisexual, to avoid the two-male threesome. You’re essentially getting less there than you would have got anyway. Half the involvement in sex and at least doubled the risk of someone farting in the room. And the constant threat of what I know as ‘nut brush’.”

— Russell Brand advises against two-male threesomes in Rolling Stone [Oh The Scandal]

Cameron Diaz Doesn’t Fake It

“You have to really enjoy (being sexy). Not fake anything. Sexy is being in the moment, whether that means being coy or coming on hard. Faking is always lame and it never comes across the way you want it to.”

— Cameron Diaz says faking it is a fail [iVillage]

Jenny McCarthy Loves “Teaseplay”

“I have a problem with the word foreplay. What are we doing in bed, playing golf? It should be called teaseplay. That’s what it is—we’ll, when it’s good, anyway. See, women don’t have whatever it is that makes you guys horny for no damn reason. We need to be teased into good sex. We need to think it first, feel it second, then do it third. Get it right and she’ll be more than primed for sex. In fact, she’ll be begging for it.”

— Jenny McCarthy on foreplay, err, I mean teaseplay in FHM [FHM]